The Gentle

Greetings.  I sit in the pause of thinking what to say, as if there is some reluctance because we haven't spoken in a while.  I've been busy.  But I love you none-the-less.  And I always enjoy our time together. So thanks for listening and taking the time to read this.  

Songs have been on my agenda.  I have been writing them and singing them and working out the chords on the ukulele.  I am hoping to play one soon for my Peacehaven friends.  Maybe you could join us?  I know Covid makes everything different.  I have yet to completely make peace with Covid.  I feel anger rise a bit when it forces me to change my habits and restricts what I might do because I have to second guess myself.  Wait, can't, or shouldn't, do that with Covid.  It is like having a snake in tall grass- there it might be and no one to cut the grass.

But the grass does get cut.  The lawn guy came today.  I wonder if he came because I asked the landlord about it the other day.  I asked too about the house and it not being very efficient.  The utility bill was 160 dollars.  Too much for a small one bedroom.  My neighbors helped me to send that message because they mentioned their dissatisfaction.  Many people have the means to make things better, more efficient, so why not do so??  Do our best.  Put in some insulated doors and windows, better insulation, a nice, cool, smart thermostat.  

It is August here in Greensboro, and around the world, for those who go by the Gregorian calendar.  I think it is cool to go by the moon calendar like people in the Islamic faith and the Druids.  I think it is important to follow natural signs like the moon, the bird patterns, and well, it helps us to be better Earth citizens.  

If we were to see the Earth and the Moon as actual beings we would be honoring them and ourselves just a bit more; we would be one step closer to honoring our divinity because we would know that we are not the only ones that are awake and have consciousness.  Where is the evidence in that?  You have to find it for yourself with your pureness; with your intention.  

I ride the oceans

and the oceans ride me

perpetually

yet things change when we become the ocean and the ocean me

the atoms coalesce and are aware of each other

and from there, everything is aware

and everything changes

I am coming up on ending my term with AmeriCorps.  I pause here because it has been almost a whole year and there has been lots of changes over the course of the year.  We find ourselves looking at a new Earth with lots of changes and reevaluation.  It's really pretty neat.  Covid has forced us into the self-reflection.  See, there is good in this.!!  (Smile).  With the ending comes a new beginning.  I am focused on my health and healing.  I love the Core Members at Peacehaven (the folks I work with there) and all that comes with being with them like Jeopardy games and picking tomatoes.  It makes my heart leap.  But I know that I want to grow in the way that leads me to full realization (in theory) and full being-ness here on Earth that I may not ever do if I do not take a chance.  

It is like the ginormous crow I saw in my dream the other night, awakening me to potential, to pay attention, to expand, to... it is like the Grey Heron the other day that flew right in front of my car as I was thinking about a song and playing it for people, that that is...

I see your faces.  The beautiful one that I am attracted to.  You all have that beauty too, you know, when I see you in the eyes.  Don't be afraid to see me back or to see yourself in them.  That is all the pandemic is doing, giving us time to see ourselves more clearly.

The grass is shornly mown and the neighbors' dogs are out and cicadas drone in and out rhythmically.  I write and let it flow and hope that we see each other and that I find the beauty in all lifeforms, even the ant I habitually killed that was crawling on my arm.  May I take the moment to not be so habitual.  

I have wishes and dreams, yes, of course!  If I remain, if we remain steadfast all will come to.  Things will fall into place, especially when we allow things to unfold so beautifully and naturally like the moon rising and growing, with the shadow and sun and the clock, the sequence that keeps track of the days.  

In this wondrous universe, there is sound which makes things interesting.  Again, imagine what it might be like to not have this sense.  Or to not have the capacity of a normal IQ, as we measure it.  Imagine where certain faculties may fall short, others may be greater, like compassion, smartness, and/or gentleness.