Hope Alive

Good evening, almost morning, here in Lawrence, Kansas.  It has been an off-day, so to speak, because I did not sleep this morning much.  I rested and then called my dad and then got up, began the day and then slept in the afternoon.  When you work in the night your life seems to depend on a sleep schedule and when that sleep will occur often varies, though I suppose this is somewhat usual with others who sleep during the night.  When there is a shift, something that must be done, sleep often comes second.  That is what happened today.  

I was moved to deactivate my social media accounts, some of which I have spent years developing.  I had meaning to do it, or at least to pair it down to people I know personally and to remove myself from certain groups that I do not really participate in.  Clean it up, so to speak.  But instead I just deactivated them this morning, as if there was no other thing that I could be doing at that moment.  It was a must do, so I did it.  I miss those people associated with those accounts already, yet in some ways, it is a relief, and a release.  

What I released today was, well, I am not quite sure, but in the release there is space and room for newness.  That I look forward to.  What was will always be and so what will be is yet to be but I look forward to creating it.

I have experienced much loss and grief, rejection and sadness and deep feeling of heart-centered emotions.  Strong emotions that feel heavy.  Perhaps, that was what I was releasing.  May the heaviness continue to dissolve.  

I dissolve into the light and light becomes me so that I know I am the light.  So that I walk with it, are it, know it, feel it, resonate with it, and remember that, in fact, I am it.  My thoughts, my feelings, all of me, is the light, because that is what I choose and focus on.

I miss, I long, I hope, and yet I look forward, I enjoy, I expect all the beautiful experiences of joy and love that life has to offer.  Stepping my feet on the ground, remembering the earth and her majesty, remembering to be thankful and present.  I will continue to feel through the feelings of grief and allow them to release.  I am hopeful for the future in all its possible variations.  I create the one that is the most joyous and love-filled, the most kind and compassionate, the most enjoyable, the one that opens my heart in truth and trust, passion and partnership with loved ones, the earth, myself and all the wonderful beings that I come into contact with. 

Blessings and many thanks to you for being present with me and reading.  

I love you.  I am thinking of you.